


He Was Literally Dragged Out Kicking And Screaming

by ashilrak



Series: 177(6) [12]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Bisexuality, F/M, M/M, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-15
Updated: 2016-06-15
Packaged: 2018-07-15 07:42:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7213696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashilrak/pseuds/ashilrak
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Adotfightme: hercules is a strong manyly man</p><p>Gwar: Did you carry him out of his own home like a child</p><p>Tailorsoldierspy: yes</p><p>Tomjemmings: how are you intimidating in any way</p><p>Adotfightme: Because I once ruined my own life and brought my entire family down with me and if I can willingly do that to myself imagine what I can do to other people</p>
            </blockquote>





	He Was Literally Dragged Out Kicking And Screaming

**Author's Note:**

> Alexander Hamilton = Alexander Miller = Adotfightme  
> John Laurens = Jonathan Lawrence = Jdotlaw  
> Hercules Mulligan = Hercules Mueller = Tailorsoldierspy  
> Lafayette = Paul Motier = Lagayette  
> George Washington = George Warner = Gwar  
> Thomas Jefferson = Thomas Jemmings = Tomjemmings  
> James Madison = James Mercury = Mamjer  
> Aaron Burr = Aaron Alston = Colderthancold  
> Angelica Schuyler = Angel Skylar = Angelsky  
> Elizabeth "Eliza" Hamilton nee Schuyler = Elizabeth "Lizzie" Skylar = Morelikedamnilton  
> Margarita "Peggy" Schuyler = Margaret "Peggy" Skylar = Shotshotshot  
> Maria Reynolds = Maria Nelson = NelsonMa

**Tailorsoldierspy:** gUYS

 **Tailorsoldierspy:** I have seen alex and lizzie having sex

 **Jdotlaw:** i’m jelly

 **Lagayette:** was it hot

 **Tailorsoldierspy:** i’m gay but yeah

 **Jdotlaw:** I want details

 **Tailorsoldierspy:** I didn’t stay and watch jesus christ

 **Lagayette:** but what did u see

 **Tailorsoldierspy:** we were all just chillin’ at the skylar’s and I walked into one of like the 5 gazillion rooms after getting some water from the kitchen and I just see lizzie straddling alex and they’re making out and she pulls his head back and he makes this noise that sweet jesus i’m not into alex but it went straight to my nether region and then there was movement and i realized that she was riding him and I left very quickly

 **Jdotlaw:** oh my god

 **NelsonMa:** I remember that noise

 **Jdotlaw:** it’s not a sound u forget

 **Tomjemmings:** I want to hear that noise

 **Mamjer:** we know

 **Lagayette:** i thought u didn’t want to have sex with alex

 **Tomjemmings:I** don’t

 **Angelsky:** mmhmm

 **Nelsonma:** so where are lizzie and alex, or do i not want to know the answer to that question

 **Angelsky:** i walked in on him eating her out so no u probs don’t

 **Nelsonma:** n i i c c c e e e get it lizzie

 **Jdotlaw:** so despite him having sex with his wife how was the meetup

 **Lagayette:** translation how was alex

 **Tailorsoldierspy:** he truly is so s m o l and adorable and also lizzie and angel were right he’s somehow more attractive

 **Jdotlaw:** h o w

 **Jdotlaw:** i can’t wait to see him so I can cuddle him

 **Lagayette:** right, “cuddle”

 **Jdotlaw:** fine i wanna suck his dick

 **Angelsky:** enough

 **Tomjemmings:** yeah what she said

 **Mamjer: @angelsky** are u saying u don’t want to suck his dick

 **Mamjer:** also at **@tomjemmings**

 **Angelsky:** that was unexpected, to say the least

 **Angelsky:** okay guys so peggy meeting alex again

 **Jdotlaw:** HOW DID THAT GO

 **Tailorsoldierspy:** it was wonderful

 **Shotshotshot:** I’m right here

 **Angelsky:** whatevr

 **Tailorsoldierspy:** Alex was just standing on the grass looking at the house kinda sad u kno (he hasn’t seen me yet)

 **Lagayette:** did u not glomp him

 **Tailorsoldierspy:** no I was taking in the sight of itsy bitsy alex his torso is like the size of my thigh

 **Lagayette:** for real

 **Shotshotshot:** actually yeah

 **Shotshotshot:** and i just want to throw out there that if given half the opportunity to grind on herc’s thigh i would take it in a heartbeat

 **Angelsky:** PegGY

 **Lagayette:** I hope ur a fan of skinny jeans **@tailorsoldierspy** bc i wanna admire those thighs for myself

 **Tailorsoldierspy:** what

 **Shotshotshot:** just roll with it

 **Angelsky:** well anyways back to peggy and alex

 **Tailorsoldierspy:** right

 **Tailorsoldierspy:** so Alex is standing there and the three of them all arrive together and peggy struts up to him like a muthafucka about to whoop someone’s ass but then she stops like three feet away from him mid-step and just stares at him

 **Shotshotshot:** he just looked so sad and also so tiny and then I remembered that he was looking at what used to be his family home turned into a museum and I mean sure they went into so much debt after building it and shit but like what it must have meant to him to be able to build a home in new york and have it belong to him and his family

 **Jdotlaw:** oh my god

 **Mamjer:** I somehow always forget the emotional and actual life ramifications of him being an orphan immigrant

 **Jdotlaw:** but u remember enough to use it against him politically

 **Tomjemmings:** we were sworn political enemies don’t fight us like this

 **Tailorsoldierspy:** and then she must have said something because he turns around and sees her and gets this huge smile on his face and is all like “margarita! Peggy my favorite sister i missed you so much” and he just opened his arms and she just fucking runs to him man

 **Angelsky:** peggy and alex are the same size

 **Shotshotshot:** he used to be bigger than me and now he’s not and i just remembered how fucking great he was to me personally and how much I looked up to him and suddenly all his lying cheating ways were forgotten jesus christ i hate him so much

 **Adotfightme:** <3 luv u too pegs

 **Angelsky:** awwww

 **Lagayette:** u have returned where is lizzie

 **Morelikedamnilton:** right here

 **Nelsonma:** how was it

 **Nelsonma:** I wanna hear about the sex I don’t care about the mushiness

 **Jdotlaw:** …

 **Nelsonma:** u agree with me and u kno it **@jdotlaw**

 **Adotfightme:** yeah betsey how was it

 **Morelikedamnilton:** u know very well how it was

 **Adotfightme:** yeah I do

 **TomJemmings:** but did u do it in ur house

 **Adotfightme:** N O O O O O O O

 **Adotfightme:** It was terrible

 **Adotfightme:** the tour guides kept giving us weird looks and wouldn’t let us go explore the house on our own and none of the others would let me pull the I’m Alexander Hamilton shtick and I just had to walk around and look at everything and be sad at how impersonal it was

 **AngelSky:** it was actually a little pitiful

 **Morelikedamnilton:** but also hilarious because whenever we passed a portrait or statue or something alex would stand next to it and pose and everyone would look at him funny bc like the resemblance is very much there but it’s just different enough and like they weren’t looking for it so they were just so confused

 **Tailorsoldierspy:** that part actually was funny

 **Shotshotshot:** can we talk about the library though

 **Lagayette:** what happened

 **Angelsky:** omg we walked in and alex almost screamed and even lizzie looked panicked

 **Tomjemmings:** why

 **Adotfightme:** [look at it](https://www.nps.gov/common/uploads/photogallery/ner/park/hagr/C4C98D1F-155D-451F-6768AD12859C35F6/C4C98D1F-155D-451F-6768AD12859C35F6-large.jpg) it’s terrifying

 **Mamjer:** I don’t get it

 **Adotfightme:** It’s C L E A N

 **Lagayette:** what that’s supposed to be your desk

 **Adotfightme:** yES

 **Angelsky:** it was my first time seeing it and i helped clean out the library after the duel

 **Jdotlaw:** THERE’S THAT FUCKING GREEN AGAIN

 **Adotfightme:** leave me alone

 **Lagayette:** I’m making washington look at this

 **Tailorsoldierspy:** omfg

 **Lagayette** **added Gwar to Hamilsquad**

 **Lagayette:** sir look at [this image](https://www.nps.gov/common/uploads/photogallery/ner/park/hagr/C4C98D1F-155D-451F-6768AD12859C35F6/C4C98D1F-155D-451F-6768AD12859C35F6-large.jpg) that desk is supposed to have belonged to alex

 **Gwar:** why is it visible

 **Tomjemmings:** It’s even making me uncomfortable

 **Adotfightme:** I AM NOT THAT BAD

 **Tailorsoldierspy:** so ur saying that if we were to go into ur room rn it’d be pristine

 **Tailorsoldierspy:** and ur the one that almost screamed

 **Adotfightme:** I WAS STARTLED

 **Shotshotshot:** the tour guide didn’t know how to deal with the group of us standing there in shock it was actually friggin’ hilarious

 **Gwar:** Did you seriously stop in the middle of the doorway

 **Morelikedamnilton:** Yes

 **Jdotlaw:** why are u people like this

 **Adotfightme:** I DID NOT RECOGNIZE MY OWN HOME

 **Tailorsoldierspy:** he made us all leave after and like the tour guide was yelling at him but he just walked out and we followed him except of course he didn’t use the way the tourists are supposed to

 **Adotfightme:** mUSCLE MEMORY

 **Tailorsoldierspy:** and he tripped over one of those velvet ropes, fell onto a sofa, and just kinda laid there

 **Angelsky:** the tour guide that followed us might have had a small panic attack

 **Shotshotshot:”SIR** WHAT ARE YOU DOING NO ONE HAS SAT ON THAT SOFA IN YEARS”

 **Jdotlaw:** I thought u guys said u didn’t explore

 **Morelikedamnilton:** I don’t really count alex’s panic as exploring more like trying to get the fuck out tbh

 **Adotfightme:** i didn’t like the tour lady

 **Angelsky:** she just kept yelling at him and more people came over and the four of us are just standing there confused but also laughing bc like it was such an alex thing

 **Morelikedamnilton:** his face is pressed into the fabric of the sofa and he’s kind of hanging over the edge of it with his feet in the air still and by now there are like five people yelling at him and he just kind of stayed there

 **Tailorsoldierspy:** none of us were doing anything either I think we were all so confused by the situation

 **Tomjemmings:** what the hell

 **Shotshotshot:** and that’s the story of how the hamilton’s were kicked out of their own home

 **Angelsky:** but not really bc there’s more

 **Shotshotshot:** u see we were walked through a parlor or whatever they called it and like alex just stopped

 **Lagayatte:** why

 **Morelikedamnilton:** it’s where they had the piano set up and I mean it’s kinda funny how certain memories just ram themselves to the front of your mind after seeing something

 **Gwar:** oh no

 **Adotfightme:** I was in a fragile condition

 **Tailorsoldierspy:** i mean I agree with u but at the same time u’ve never been fragile in ur entire life except also every day

 **Morelikedamnilton:** tru

 **Tomjemmings:** what did u do start crying in the middle of a national park

 **Adotfightme:** Actually

 **Mamjer:** why do these things happen to you

 **Angelsky:** the tour lady didn’t know what to do

 **Shotshotshot:** she was so confused

 **Adotfightme:** hercules is a strong manyly man

 **Gwar:** Did you carry him out of his own home like a child

 **Tailorsoldierspy:** yes

 **Tomjemmings:** how are you intimidating in any way

 **Adotfightme:** Because I once ruined my own life and brought my entire family down with me and if I can willingly do that to myself imagine what I can do to other people

 **Colderthancold:** For example I killed him and my life was actually hell from that moment on

 **Shotshotshot:** lol

 **Adotfightme:** wait you’ve been here this entire time

 **Nelsonma:** I leave for like two minutes to make a hot pocket and I come back to like 80 messages and apparently alex got kicked out of his own home while crying and also is a threat

 **Morelikedamnilton:** that about sums it up, yea

 **Angelsky:** do u want to know what alex said after he got kicked out of his house

 **Tailorsoldierspy:** while I’m still carrying him btw

 **Lagayette:** what happened

 **Jdotlaw:** did he ask to go to his bank

 **Shotshotshot:** you bet your tooshie he did

 **Morelikedamnilton:** and like the fucking idiots that we are we fuckign took him

 **Tomjemmings:** but did he start a riot

 **Angelsky:** no but did u kno that they have the guns from the hamiltonburr duel on display

 **Colderthancold** **has left Hamilsquad**

 **Mamjer:** What did alex do

 **Morelikedammnilton:** he kicked the fucking glass

 **Jdotlaw:** of course he did

 **Lagayette:** but it didn’t break or anything did it

 **Shotshotshot:** u’ve seen alex he definitely can’t break some museum level glass with one weak ass kick

 **Adotfightme:** excuse me

 **Angelsky:** he was literally dragged out kicking and screaming

 **Morelikedamnilton:** I think they might have threatened to tase him

 **Tailorsoldierspy:** we were literally kicked out from a bank back onto wall street

 **Adotfightme:** which I basically created, just saying

 **TomJemmings:** fuckign federalist

 **Mamjer:** shut up thomas

 **Jdotlaw:** were u guys even dressed appropriately for wall street

 **Morelikedamnilton:** not even fucking close

 **Shotshotshot:** angel and lizzie both did themselves up all nice and put on outfits that were hella sexy but not obvious or skanky in anyway

 **Adotfightme:** u did that for me

 **Morelikedamnilton:** hell yeah we did bby

 **Angelsky:** so what u guys don’t know is that our father works on wall street

 **Gwar:** Of course he does

 **Gwar:** Is your father Phillip?

 **Shotshotshot:** Nope. Just us gals.

 **Lagayette:** what happened

 **Tailorsoldierspy:** well he wanted to know what the fuck we were doing there and who the fuck alex and I were

 **Morelikedamnilton:** our father is really very protective of his “innocent” daughters

 **Angelsky:** okay so like of fucking course alex steps up and is like excuse me hello how dare you speak to my wife in that tone of voice in my own fucking house

 **Shotshotshot:** he was so confused

 **Adotfightme:** I was in a mood

 **Jdotlaw:** ur always in a mood

 **Morelikedamnilton:** but of course the only thing he catches from that is that alex called one of his daughters his wife

 **Tailorsoldierspy:** and peggy jumped in before it could escalate further and was like hold up daddio i get that this is weird but angel and lizzie wanted to meet up with people they met at orientation that they happened to know in their past lives

 **Angelsky:** he had no idea who the schuyler sisters were when we told him and none of us really felt like explaining it so he just kind of assumed that we amounted to nothing, aka typical women of the era

 **Shotshotshot:** so he was like who could you have possibly known that would walk around wall street like they own the place

 **Lagayette:** And alex couldn’t let that slide could he

 **Tailorsoldierspy:** of course not

 **Morelikedamnilton:** He was like, it is I, Alexander Hamilton, who founded the American banking system and consequently wall street and really any other financial institution in this country. And, sir, excuse me but your middle daughter is my wIFE

 **Mamjer:** I’m guessing he didn’t like that very much

 **Angelsky:** u guess correctly

 **Shotshotshot:** and then he turned to herc and was like, lemme guess, u were married to angel

 **Angelsky:** I couldn’t help it I laughed

 **Lagayette:** how dare u

 **Angelsky:** not because herc isn’t husband material or anything but like I was remembering john and I couldn’t help but compare the two and they’re just so different haLP

 **Adotfightme:** I was like, no sir, Hercules here is a friend from before, and also my future roommate

 **Jdotlaw:** did anything else exciting happen from that point on

 **Morelikedamnilton:** Not really, he just kind of became resigned to the fact that there was nothing he could do against five stubborn teenagers and took us to his home, told us to be safe and have fun, and then went back to work

 **Lagayette:** and then u had sex with alex

 **Morelikedamnilton:** hells yeah i did

 **Jdotlaw:** without me might I add

 **Adotfightme:** would u have wanted to be there

 **Jdotlaw:** I wanna be wherever you are, my dear boy

 **Angelsky:** ohmygosh he’s all flustered and blushing and he’s so adORABLE

**Author's Note:**

> I feel like I have five jokes that I keep reusing


End file.
